When in a social situation, do you ever wonder if that situation would be any different if you weren’t there. What difference are you making by being there?
I think about that all the time.
Sometimes I feel like I am destined to travel on a greater path than I am travelling on now.
Its 10pm EDST in Australia. I am sitting in my room, gazing at the television. The Golden Globes are on. I have just cracked my first beer and feeling philosophical.
Watching these wonderful people on screen, I can’t help but be interested in their journey to fame and fortune; how hard they must have worked, how many times they were turned away and yet they came back fighting.
I am not a fighter. I was faced with 3 failed attempts to make my art a career. Each time, I gave up. Threw my dream into the ‘too hard’ basket. Each year, I sit here and watch these awards shows. Makes me wish to be there, with the famous, the people who have succeeded at making their art their livelihood.
I feel I am destined to be more than I am, to succeed on a higher level. Alas, I am not the person to fight for it or go after that. I get too comfortable. It’s a sad truth, a truth I will be regret when I look back on my life.
Maybe it is time to change. Time to go after what I want. I am still young, there is still time.